You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Minds need the unusual, because the unusual has the power to shake the mind!

Governments exist to protect the rights of minorities. The loved and the rich need no protection - they have many friends and few enemies.

What is pretty in nature is confined to the thin skin of the globe upon which we huddle. Scratch that skin, and nature's daemonic ugliness will erupt.

Fitting in is boring. But it takes you nearly your whole life to work that out.

Remember that just the moment you say, "I give up," someone else seeing the same situation is saying, "My, what a great opportunity."

I don't really care if they like me or not.

You read so much about the healing power of memoir, but you don't read about the wounding power it has first. The recollection of past events is not, in and of itself, therapeutic.

Joan Rivers is 80 and she's fantastic. She lives in mortal fear of not filling that 1,500-seat room.

Dogmatics is the testing of Church doctrine and proclamation.

Comfort makes you weaker. We need some variability, some stressors. Not too much, but just enough.