You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

It's not what you lift, it's where you carry it.

Like a child, always enjoy the world.

Liberal learning is both a safeguard against false ideas of freedom and a source of true ones.

Complaint is the largest tribute heaven receives and the sincerest part of our devotion.

It's better not to read your reviews. Just go and do the thing... it would drive you crazy otherwise.

A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders.

I'm not a big blues fan, but I don't know anyone who doesn't dig B.B. King.

If grace is obligated it is no longer grace. The very essence of grace is that it is undeserved.

"It's him," I said. "Typhon." I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!

Let me tell you, it’s a lot easier to raise money for a governor. They have all kinds of business to hand out, road contracts, construction jobs, you name it.