You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Enlightened view (samyak darshan) is that which shows you the ‘eternal’ (the pure soul), and deluded vision (mithya darshan) is that which shows you the ‘temporary’.

Nearly all God's jewels are crystallized tears.

How remorseless must one be find pleasure in riding a Wilhelmina golden coach in the 21st century.

Perseverance is not a long race it is many short races one after another.

I love Christmas. Christmas is family time.

A writer should tend to lift people up, not lower them down.

Nothing truly stops you. Nothing truly holds you back. For your own will is always within your control.

The Most Creative Shortcut to Success Is to Reevaluate What Success Means to You.

To say that a man is an idealist is merely to say that he is a man.

A gold standard is to the moochers and looters in government what sunlight and garlic are to vampires.