You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Tying the know means slipping a noose around love and choking it to death.

We will not capitulate - no, never! We may be destroyed, but if we are, we shall drag a world with us - a world in flames.

I am looking for an honest man.

Why level downward to our dullest perception always, and praise that as common sense? The commonest sense is the sense of men asleep, which they express by snoring.

We live in a media culture and whoever controls and influences and uses media the best has the power for change.

Don't sacrifice your spirit for wealth. Grow your wealth by first growing your spirit.

I go to sleep at night, and I feel like I just dreamed the whole day.

Theories are like patches on a coat, one day they just wear off.

This universe is the wreckage of the infinite on the shores of the finite.

In an artist's life, death is perhaps not the most difficult thing.