You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Love is something you have or don’t have. Love is like a fever.

Beauty is something I cannot seem to take as a given. It seems to lie too disadvantageously in the eyes of beholders.

I’ve never been bothered with my conduct. I’ve only been bothered by people that don’t get it correct when they gossip about me.

I wish our clever young poets would remember my homely definitions of prose and poetry that is prose - words in their best order poetry - the best words in their best order.

Counting is the religion of this generation it is its hope and its salvation.

That's what it is to love someone: to give whatever you can while taking what you must.

I don't believe you have to have eating disorders and mental illness to screw up.

The best of us being unfit to die, what an unexpressible absurdity to put the worst to death.

Among other causes of misfortune which your not being armed brings upon you, it makes you despised.

If you are creative, you get busier as you get older.