You never can take for granted that you have a job.

I'd consider myself a flailing comedy writer.

You know, 1% of us is in the armed forces, protecting the other 99, and they're all volunteers.

The only thing more intimidating than a huge international film star is your mother-in-law.

Part of your job as an artist is to push yourself and make sure your creative juices are flowing.

You learn history in school, and you have a reverential feeling toward it. But by being irreverent, it feels current.

You never know when you'll have a bad idea for a worse joke.

You think of George Washington, this man who was larger than life, and in some ways he was. But at the same time, he's just a person.

If it doesn't feel like a job and I'm learning something and getting that rush that I get, I don't care if it's behind a camera, on a TV set, or on the moon.

Maybe I'm naive, but I subscribe to the idea that nobody is actually making strategic decisions about their career. Trying to do that would be like playing three-card monte on Canal Street.

The place I feel most at home is when I have health insurance. I really don't care how I get it, whether it's on film, or television or waiting tables, you know?

Gardens and flowers have a way of bringing people together, drawing them from their homes.

He who cannot see the truth for himself, nor, hearing it from others, store it away in his mind, that man is utterly worthless.

At least once a week, I try to have one day where I have nothing planned so I can get up and just go back to bed and lay around and recharge my batteries.

That Yes, I know what you mean-that is the technical definition of Best Friend Forever.

People never think of themselves as choosing to be politically correct. They simply think in the way that they do.

Education today is a process of filling the mind with the contents of books, emptying the contents in the examination hall and returning empty-headed.

The battlefield is cold... it is the lonesomest place which men share together.

Oh yeah, this was so comforting. Like a porcupine in a condom factory.’ (Danger)

There’s something so great about this,” she whispers. About what?” I whisper back. About this,” she whispers. About being outlaws. It’s just you and me—against the world.

I never loved totalitarianism and all the ideas of making mankind happy always seemed crazy to me.