You never know where to look when eating a banana.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Garlic bread - it's the future, I've tasted it.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.

You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

Pessimistic thoughts will only yield trees unwilling to bear edible fruit. Optimistic thinking will always feed those who are willing to sit at your table".

The coldest depth of Hell is reserved for people who abandon kittens.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain their neutrality.

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.

If it's not true love, then that energy will gradually wear the subtle physical down.

In dance the hand hath liberty to touch, the eye to gaze, the arm for to embrace.

That makes climate change a bigger public health problem than AIDS, than malaria, than pandemic flu.

Healthy, well-informed, balanced criticism is the ozone of public life.

Because I just loved to spend two years of my life in the company of Andy Kaufman and other characters.