You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like; generally, it's an inconvenience.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

But your responsibilities are sometimes given you without choice, without consent.

Man lives in the midst of images. Literature offers him a critical image of himself.

Resentment is the most precious flower of poverty.

A universe capable of giving birth to many such accidents is-- blind or not-- a good world to live in, a promising universe.

I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.

The ACLU is not just religiously neutral, but staunchly anti-religious. Particularly, anti-Christian.

There's just so much stuff that sounds like Flying Lotus now - I really like what he does, but I don't want to be like him. The new stuff is more experimental.

I think the most beautiful thing is that we're not parting because there were problems. We're parting because we're celebrating each others' growth.

Everything moves way too fast.

The worm is not to be trusted.