You're entering dangerous land when you start theorising about comedy.

I'm waiting for the time when I fail - because we all fail - and I'm ready, I'll take up carpentry.

We had so much fun in Ghana and they are really lovely people.

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

We only have one agenda, which is to make 'em laugh their pants off. Unless they are girls, of course, when it is to make them laugh their bras off so we can get a quick look.

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.

I remember once having to stop performing when I thought an elderly man a few rows back from the front was actually going to die because he was laughing so hard.

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

Most modern comedy is crap.

MORE THAN ONCE I'VE AWAKENED WITHTEARS RUNNING DOWN MY CHEEKS.I HAVE HAD TO THINK WHETHERI WAS CRYING OR WHETHER ITIS INVOLUNTARY, LIKE DROOLING.

In the history of comics and movies and music too, it's always when things are at their bottomed-out, either creatively or financially, there's more chance-taking going on.

I find it hard to focus looking forward. So I look backward.

There's been an increase in the number of Iraqis in training, but more Americans are dying and violence is increasing.

Passionately prejudiced people always turn out, under scrutiny, to be people who cannot get along on a footing of equality with anyone.

I shopped at J. Crew in high school, I studied computer science. I was a nerd-nerd, now I'm a music-nerd.

My parents were entrepreneurs. They ran a small ad agency in upstate New York.

The fact is Burke is smarter than two thirds of the Western Australian Labor Party rolled together.

If we ourselves want to be free and happy then by enslaving and harming animals we will not be able to achieve our goal.

I want no criticism of America at my table. The Americans criticize themselves more than enough.