You're not really drinking coffee unless you drink it black, don't you think? Oh, no? You like to monkey with it?

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

When there are many worldsyou can choose the oneyou walk into each day.

Patience is for those who can't be bothered with procrastination!

When the movie's done, you talk about either the score or source music over a particular scene, what might work. You just throw a piece of music over the scene, and we both listen to it.

Err in the direction of kindness.

Sometimes if you got a problem deep rooted in your life, it takes a little bit of time to overcome it in that area.

The key issue is the shift of the centre of gravity from the West to the East, the rise of China and India.

Lust weakens both body and mind.

I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance.

These are true felicities. No joy beyond these joys. Love is the only ecstasy, everything else weeps

The acme of humbleness is to forget unfalteringly good deeds of oneself.