You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

She had no God to plead to for mercy or luck. It would be true to say she depended instead on human kindness and painkillers.

Press forward at all times, climbing forward toward that higher ground of the harmonious society that shapes the laws of man to the laws of God.

When you have that window of opportunity called a crisis, move as quickly as you can, get as much done as you can. There's a momentum for change that's very compelling.

I'm not born here to have a personality. I'm here to have a spirit. Each of us is born with a purpose for being alive.

I've learned that when someone does something very kind and refuses payment, giving them an engraved Swiss Army knife is never refused!

Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.

These so-called extremists in Pakistan should be brought into the mainstream; if you marginalize them, you radicalize them.

Prepared and fast foods have given us the time and freedom to see cooking as an art form - a form of creative expression.

It's cool to meet your idols. It's a good opportunity to travel. Those kinds of things are good.

If you're going to be a prisoner of your own mind, the least you can do is make sure it's well furnished.