You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

It was unhealthy to get too attached. Such things were best reserved for people who had a life expectancy

My blood runs cold. Her savage stare and bloodied hands leave no doubts in my mind as she glares up at us from across the battlefield. This must be the fabled Queen of the Picts.

No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.

I am a Soviet man, and Yeltsin is a Soviet man - maybe our grandchildren will be different.

Your biggest asset is a positive attitude. That more than anything else determines your earnings.

All the scientists who are working on solving the problem of curing paralysis say that it won't do you any good if you don't keep your body in shape.

When mind, body, and spirit are in harmony, happiness is the natural result.

We live in a time when people give up too easy.

Headline writing is an art form.

Prayer should be done regularly, persistently, resolutely, and tenaciously at least daily, whether we feel like it or not.