You're supposed to trust friends. You have no reason to be his friend? That is part of the pleasure of friendship: trusting without absolute evidence and then being rewarded for that trust.

Doing what you love means dealing with things you don't.

People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort.

You make decisions and choices, and you're never going to know if they're the ideal choices, but you make them and you make the most of them.

Only two things you ignore: things that aren't important and things you wish weren't important. And wishing never works.

Like I always say, there's no "I" in "team." There is a "me," though, if you jumble it up.

If we were to care about every person suffering on this planet, life would shut down.

You have to make changes before people are clamoring for changes. If people are asking for changes, it's too late.

You have to be driven by the stories that you want to tell. You can't simply be responding, or there won't be any real heart to those stories anymore.

The saying within the writer's room, which were my words of wisdom, if you will, was, "The punishment doesn't have to fit the crime, but there has to be a crime."

There are three choices in this life: be good, get good, or give up.

Life, is energy. It is the energy that makes your heart beat and makes you breathe, that causes the cells of your body to automatically grow and reproduce the moment you are conceived!

You want it, you buy it, you forget it.

Remember: the Bible is our only authoritative source of information about Heaven.

I need to get a greater vocabulary than what I have and when I get mad and my brain searches for a word. I have to find different words and to do that you need to have more of an education.

A ray of imagination or of wisdom may enlighten the universe, and glow into remotest centuries.

I hope I am pigeonholed with comedy. I'm really not interested in writing the darker stuff, the emotional stuff.

Competition-ruthless, unforgiving, to-the-death competition-is a crucial feature of capitalism.

Bloody Facebook- and to think I'd enjoyed The Social Network. Clearly Mark Zuckerberg was the devil.

True education must correspond to the surrounding circumstances or it is not a healthy growth.

anger cancels good judgement!