You really don't know a person until you spend some time in their panties.

I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister.

A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.

You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.

I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet

If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.

It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.

In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.

There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.

If I don't get off the mat I'll lose the fight.

The man who wishes to bend me with his tale of woe must shed true tears - not tears that have been got ready overnight.

I didn't go to acting school, so it was great to be able to rehearse for a month or two, to workshop, and be with a director who even gave me acting exercises.

Sin forsaken is one of the best evidences of sin forgiven.

Together we have given the world the possibility of one day living on a truly mine-free planet.

The role of Barbara, in Music for Millions, was literally a tonic for me

I've talked to biblical cats, and Neanderthals who been here since day one. No one here has even seen the Big Boss. Ever.

Montreal, this wonderful town… Pearl of Canada, Pearl of the world.