You see a lot of sketch variety shows where each segment is one joke that they repeat over and over and over again, and the sketches are always three or four minutes too long.

I'm a lurker and a creep. Women don't like me because I sleep standing up, like a horse.

I'm insecure, and I need the validation of strangers to feel whole. So, I need every single racist 12-year-old on the Internet to like me, or I don't feel complete.

A hole is a hole has always been my motto.

I think everyone is bi, right? There's no such thing as sexual orientation, or race, or gender. Those are all obsolete man-made concepts.

I will smoke crack before I die. I want to see what all the hubbub is about.

I can't tell if the world is worse now or if we just have more cameras. There are cameras everywhere, so now the world knows how bad the world is.

I think we give human beings too much credit. We're primates, you know.

The president is the country's scapegoat more than the country's leader; the president has as much power as we think the president has. Whoever has the most money is the puppet master.

Do you think we're going to hit a tipping point and the world's going to end?

I'm an Aries. I need everybody to like me.

The overman...Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment.

I've never believed in living for the ones you love. I believe in the power of death, I'd die for the ones that I love.

It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour.

Sonny Liston stood up to me and actually made me give ground. No one has ever done that to me before or since.

The eagle that soars in the upper air does not worry itself how it is to cross rivers.

It is the soul that sees; the outward eyes Present the object, but the Mind descries. We see nothing till we truly understand it.

The strangest thing about writing a sitcom, is never knowing if it will become anything but words on a page.

We all need someone who can help us do what we already can.

Always do what you feel deeply in the within to be the true thing to do.

If a good word already exists, there is no need to invent something painful.