You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, and he arrives with a sandwich! And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land"

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Observe & accept what ever arises & know that everything is as it needs to be.

Another possibility is that evolution selected creativity in general as a marker of sexual fitness.

You have companies over in different countries where they devalue their currency and they make it impossible for American companies to compete.

There aren't just bad people that commit genocide; we are all capable of it. It's our evolutionary history.

That's all a grit is, a vehicle. For whatever it is you rather be eating.

We are all connected to each other, in a circle, in a hoop that never ends.

If I was able to tell my story with the passion I felt, my lecture might help others find a path to fulfilling their own dreams.

Slum kids die slowly, their lives eroded at so languid a pace that even they would have trouble tracing the disintegration. To the children of war death explodes like a car bomb.

I'm just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last time.

I just got my first bikini. It's a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you.