You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

Being ninty nine percent sure opens for a possibility that you might be a hundred percent wrong.

I propose to fight it out on this line if it takes all Summer.

One sits down first one thinks afterwards.

The man who remains in his sin will be damned just as surely as the sun comes up in the east and goes down in the west.

I don't really do anything with the Internet except check my email. I have a much higher opinion of humanity because of that.

I am a man of my word.

Don't strive for perfection. It doesn't exist. Strive for a better you. That's always in reach.

When you're creating you have to descend to depths. You've just got to go there - to the boredom, the banality, the loneliness and all that. Those moments of really feeling in the flow are fleeting.

There is nothing outside the universe.

Ed Koch once said that New York City is where immigrants come to audition for America. That's what happened to my parents; that's what happened to me.