You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath.

I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.

And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me.

If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.

There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.

I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.

Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet.

Never mind those failures till yesterday. Each new day is a sequel of a wonderful life

With peace of being, you can overcome any pain.

Marriage is the grave or tomb of wit.

Nothing that happens on the surface of the sea can alter the calm of its depths

The saddest thing in life is wasted talent, and the choices you make will shape your life forever.

Modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

One thing I learned from meteorology is that being an actual science was no guarantee of exactness.

Magna carta. Master charga.

Let's be honest - look what Hollywood at 18 is.

When you are down and out something always turns up - and it is usually the noses of your friends.