You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

The illusion which exalts us is dearer to us than ten thousand truths.

My style is kind of eclectic and I don't like to do the same thing over and over again. I like to have fun and explore myself so you won't see the same design.

I would rather have the United States as the world's policeman than the Soviet Union as the world's jailer.

The one thing I always do is I always brush my teeth before I play. I don't know why.

I have nothing to speak of but my self-and what can I say but what I feel.

I'm not going to become anybody I don't want to become

I think you can be contemporary without taking your clothes off.

You should never be ashamed of the suffering you've been through.

You have to work to carve out your own little corner, and I'm certainly smacking my head against the wall trying to make a dent. I just hope I don't get brain-damaged before I get there

You are more than the Earth, though you are such a dot: You can love and think, and the Earth cannot!