You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

What I really want is to play the romantic lead and get the girl.

An now the silences come in a single lifetime, in a single year... when species die, leaving a silent space in the world song that can never be filled.

Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.

I always found the appeal to the market gods a bit odd. Why would the market fix mistakes instead of aggravating them?

Literally thousands of lawsuits have been filed against the NFL by retired players, many of whom say that information on brain injury in football was withheld from them.

If you go into a store, with a gun, and rob it, you have forfeited your right to not get shot

You need to play to win. But you also need to win ... to play.

Mother Teresa once said, "Holy living consists in doing God's work with a smile." ... The last thing many believers need is to go to another Bible study.

By being critical, you also develop your own style of what you like, what direction you want to move.

I'm rather uncomfortable with celebrity, to be honest.