You tell me the dead are coming through a crack in my barn, but I shouldn’t worry?

There’s no way to stand up gracefully when your pants are down around your ankles.

I missed the good old days when phones were sturdy enough to be pounded for emphasis.

This was going to be worse than the time I table danced in the diner in high school!

Banks frown when employees torch the home of their principal account holder.

This house has enough nooks and crannies for English muffins.

Turns out there’s a reason smoking is not allowed on construction sites.

You pretty much have to take the job since you hit him with the car.

Maybe you’re worried that I won’t seduce you?

Elvis is in the kitchen and he’s making eggs Benedict!

I’ve worked with freshmen that were easier than this.

With Cosmic Ordering, the best days of your life are always ahead of you.

Every great soul was inspired by another great soul.

Why is your skin the best feeling in the world?

Some steps need to be taken alone. It's the only way to really figure out where you need to go and who you need to be.

She would drink until the trembling stopped. Then she would wilt over the piano like one of Celia's spinaches when Tam Lin forgot to water the garden.

Anesthesia: wounds without pain. Neurasthenia: pain without wounds.

Art should be concerned more with life than with art.

Faith induces one to pray.Prayer purifies the heart.In the purified heart is reflected the light of Lord.When the Light sighns the mortal becomes immortal.

One does not always know how to express the sorrow of the soul. One does not always know how to silence the joy of the heart.

Fools who won't see the truth are deadly.