You've forgotten those June nights at the Riviera...the night I drank Champagne from your slipper - two quarts. It would have been more but you were wearing inner soles.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

The American people don't believe politicians. They don't believe business leaders or Hollywood celebrities or athletes or other supposed role models. And they certainly don't believe the news media.

I suppose that the media and their portrayal of Islam and the almost tribal separations and divisions of the Muslims are the greatest issues confronting Muslims in the United Kingdom.

To live in God is death; to die in God is life.

There are orphans who can be cared for; but this some will not venture to undertake; for it brings them more work than they care to do, leaving them but little time for their own pleasure.

We need moral leadership and courage in our world.

The market economy is very good at wealth creation but not perfect at all about wealth distribution.

And I like the passion that people have when they're trying to prove they can make a movie or be a movie star.

There's only one sort of natural blonde on earth - albinos.

Greatness occurs when your children love you, when your critics respect you and when you have peace of mind.

I write songs about things that I'm simultaneously trying not to think about.