You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

May you find the strength of will and the grace of endurance to overcome every challenge.

Love becomes the ultimate answer to the ultimate human question.

If you want to solve hard problems, have hard problems.

I knew Childress was going to help me because my crew told me on the radio. I really appreciate what Richard did, but that is typical of people in this sport.

Freshly minted Ph.Ds typically teach the way their favorite professors taught.

The best happiness will be to escape the worst misery.

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.

American families, families back home in Minnesota, know only too well that out-of-pocket expenses for health care have been rising at an astonishing rate.

A man improves more by reading the story of a person eminent for prudence and virtue, than by the finest rules and precepts of morality.

Success in life, in anything, depends upon the number of persons that one can make himself agreeable to.