You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

A sincere praise to God makes soul prospers.

If you want to make beautiful music, you must play the black and the white notes together.

Feeling lurks in that interval of time between desire and its consummation.

The more you know of your history, the more liberated you are.

John D. Rockefeller wanted to dominate oil, but Microsoft wants it all, you name it: cable, media, banking, car dealerships.

Change the world today. Start with the next person you meet.

Me personally, I don't have anything against Jesus any more than I do any of the religious icons. I think they're all pretty funny.

I'm 5 foot 9, and there were two stars in my life who didn't mind that I was taller than they - George Raft and John Garfield

When I quote others I do so in order to express my own ideas more clearly.

Your past is important but it is not nearly as important to your present as the way you see your future.