You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

If you have ever prayed for something and received what you wanted, you engaged in Cosmic Ordering.

The morning sky is a thought of the stars.

Too much wit makes the world rotten.

The friendship between me and you I will not compare to a chain; for that the rains might rust, or the falling tree might break.

I liked playing in small clubs. I really liked holding the attention of thirty or forty people. I never liked the roar of the big crowd.

Religion taught us to return good for evil.

The most important are the eyes. In a fight if you look down out of fear you'll certainly be defeated

He who fails to please in his salutation and address is at once rejected, and never obtains an opportunity of showing his latest excellences or essential qualities.

There's something to be said about all music being some translation of our languaging, our way of communicating. It's a language. This is a new language.

In England, David and I are big fish in a small pond. But in L.A., we are tiny, tiny, tiny fish in a big pond.