You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

The part of your mind that believes intuitive knowing to be impossible is that part of your mind for which it is impossible.

It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion.

I like good humor.

Rather than just reacting to the waves of things that come, ride them with deliberate intention.

I got half-a-dozen paintings from that shattered plate.

It's hard to have a dialogue when you're name-calling.

We turn to stories and pictures and music because they show us who and what and why we are.

If I was as relaxed as what I perceived myself to be, I would not be able to multi-task the way I multi-task.

In terms of merchandise, you can't force anyone to buy something.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.