You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.

I was happy anywhere I could see the ocean.

Always take all the time to reflect that circumstances permit, but when the time for action has come, stop thinking. (Andrew Jackson)

Death is only the death of death not the death of life.

My father is an amazing man.

Go God's way! His is the most reliable route to follow when life gets complicated. It will have its tough moments, but you will never regret it.

Nietzsche famously said "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.

Trump Entertainment Resorts declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Or as Donald Trump describes Chapter 11, "Back-to-back number ones!"

The manifest universe is the body of God ... all people are incarnations of the One Spirit.

Greatness, as we daily see it, is unsociable.

O gentle son, Upon the heat and flame of thy distemper, sprinkle cool patience.