You wanna know how you know you're informed as a protestor? They don't show your interview on TV.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

Always ask yourself what you have achieved within a given time and the product of your life

You can get used to anything, I guess, if you've been there enough.

Come meet my dog.""What's the dog's name?""Justice.""Nice touch for a judge. A dog named Justice.

What I'm going to miss is the competition, being, that's OK, I can watch from the house.

One of my dogs is in the movie Beethoven's 2nd.

I had to get really clear about what was meaningful & what wasn't, who I was & who I wasn't & who I wasn't going to be anymore.

Why do you want to read others' books when there is the book of yourself?

Click bang, what a hang, your daddy just shot poor me.

When a new CEO comes, make sure you send him a visiting card to say, 'Sir, I'm with you'.

You are a beautiful mess, you are the melody.