You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

Everything was glowing and shining, and she herself was flying inside that glow. She could do anything. Be anything.

If you want the advice of an old man, don't be afraid of making mistakes. That's life. Just be sure you're making them for the right reason.

But I like to swim. At high school, I tried out for the swim team. I shaved off all my body hair, and that extra burst of speed from all the bullies shouting Kill the fairy.

John Ashcroft is not a patriot, John Ashcroft is a descendant of Joseph McCarthy.

Medicine also disregards national boundaries.

The whole process of making movies and writing screenplays is visceral and intuitive.

I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.

I am very far from practicing what I understand.

I never completed high school and I am very rich and very successful.

When grace combines with wrinkles, it is admirable. There is an indescribable light of dawn about intensely happy old age. . . . The young person is handsome, but the old, superb.