You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you're instructed to make people laugh and please them, you're too resentful to do it.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

Do you have any idea how frightening it is to care for someone who dreams? They infect you with their optimism. And soon you start to dream together. You begin to dare to hope.

She's dead. So is your fat pansy. You can be dead, too, if you want.

Design has to work. Art does not.

This is the darkest hour before dawn and we should never underestimate monetary authorities' ability to deal with the adversity.

In every loving woman there is a priestess of the past

I'm of the opinion that the Democrats have the ideas I agree with more often than not. Reenergizing the middle class and giving people a break.

The natural alone is permanent.

When you’re going through something hard and you start wondering where Allah is, just remember, the Teacher is always quiet during a test.

There is no reason, in a free society, that farmers shouldn’t be allowed to raise hemp. Hemp is a good product.