You will have to look a long way before you find a bunch of scum-suckers more greedy, humourless and deserving of death than the suits in the music business.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Unfortunately, people who always tell the truth don't have many friends.

How you matter is defined by the things that matter to you. You matter as much as the things that matter to you do.

I’ve got to stop this. Stop worrying about the why. Stop forcing what was happening into the realm of impossible. Stop hiding behind excuses. Stop being afraid to step out on faith.

I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not, it seems to me that he missed the opportunity of his life.

I really believe that if you're going to bring a child into the world, it's your job to parent that world. Especially if it's just you; you don't pawn her off on somebody.

I want to clear up a few myths about myself. People have written that I was a kindergarten teacher and a former Miss Texas, and neither is true.

You really can't bring about anything new with art

my boyfriend is a rock god baby (and not kiss-of-death(sorry))

Armies gather in the East for the war that's soon to come. Death will march with the mark of the beast, so seek the light and walk with the Son.

You don't realize how little accuracy there is in network TV reporting until they cover a story in your hometown.