You will never win if you never begin.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Any philosophy is a sacrilege against creation. It just gives people the kinds of explanations that they want to hear.

My Life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds.

Any time you're lucky enough to get on a show people watch, it's a good thing.

Sarah Palin. Remember Sarah Palin? She is adorable. She is back on the campaign trail. Really. She's going to campaign in the Senate runoff in Georgia. As soon as she finds out where Georgia is.

I come from a tradition - from the Jewish tradition, which believes in words, in language, in communication.

A bore: one who knows as well as you do what he is going to say next.

You should enjoy the present moment because this is all you have. Create for tomorrow, but live in and for today.

...in the end you are the only one who can make yourself happy. More important, ...it is never too late to find out how to do it.

If you can talk brilliantly about a problem, it can create the consoling illusion that it has been mastered.

So well thy words become thee as thy wounds.