You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

They had...finished their lives before their death – which is not always the end of life and often comes long before the end.

Independence has made us Soft

Lawrence will go on burying his own undertakers.

A world without braves is a world without heroes, but a world without wisdom is a world of animals.

The life of a writer is tragic: the more we advance the farther there is to go and the more there is to say the less time there is to say it.

Future generations will know there's nothing mystical about wetware because by 2100, Moore's law will have given us tiny quantum computers powerful enough to upload a human soul.

To make a rock'n'roll record, technology is the least important thing.

The biggest challenge for any craft person or artist is to accept the constraints of their medium and make something beautiful despite them. That's kind of fun, actually.

Try your hand at everything. Figure out what your space in the world is and take it. Then you can let other people in who will celebrate that about you, not try to turn you into something else.

Actors have these delicate appendages called Egos.