You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Beastly of him to die before you realized he might be fascinating.

Everyone makes mistakes. Whether we put our mistakes to use depends on how deeply we reflect on our actions. It is desirable to reflect until the tears come. - On Self-Reflection -

Actually, my dog I think is the only person who consistently loves me all the time.

My only ritual is to just sit down and write, write every day.

At the turn of the century theatre does not have to be prescriptive.

Evolution does not make happiness its goal; it aims simply at evolution and nothing else.

Shame is not your friend. It depletes your power. Let go of shame and embrace your magnificence.

I've always fought for my country, in my own way, showing that Filipinos are a strong people and can do anything that they put their minds to.

I’m always surprised when writers say they don’t believe in a god or religion but they believe in creating a world on two hundred pages using symbols. We’re all worshiping something.

We never love anyone. Not really. We only love our idea of another person. It is some conception of our own that we love. We love ourselves, in fact.