You young people with your twittering and your creating of content. Or what is it - queefing? I don't know what you young people are calling it.

Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.

It’s mentally exhausting, feeling bad about something you can do nothing about.

Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.

This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.

I can't wait for the next fad though, and I predict it's going to be Pennsylvania dutch culture, very Amish. It's going to be bonnets and butter churns.

The surest way of concealing from others the boundaries of one's own knowledge is not to overstep them.

Its a sad moment, really, when parents first become a bit frightened of their children.

David has scored 62 goals in 148 games for Ipswich and those statistics tell me that he plays games and scores goals. (on David Johnson)

That is what we are supposed to do when we are at our best - make it all up - but make it up so truly that later it will happen that way.

In short, if there were external bodies, it is impossible we should ever come to know it; and if there were not, we might have the very same reasons to think there were that we have now.

Music has always been a huge part of my life.

Sentences or solutions occur to me in the shower, or while running on the treadmill, or riding on the subway.

You must distinguish sharply between being pro free enterprise and being pro business.

Writing is not the easiest way to make a living. Your work long hours, usually all by yourself. It is not a way to make money.

People still question my sobriety, my commitment to the program, and that hurts. I take things day by day, and sometimes I take them minute by minute, but I honor my commitment to stay sober.