Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Create your own out of the box thinking, create your own box.

I'd like to have a good long talk with you once you've calmed down. Please call me soon. Happy Birthday.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

I love Pinterest! Pinterest is absolutely phenomenal when you're trying to come up with a costume design.

I'm so miserable without you, it's almost as if you're here!

I believe strongly in 'giving while living.' I see little reason to delay giving when so much good can be achieved through supporting worthwhile causes today.

My brother plays guitar and base and writes. His name is Chase Ryan.

I say a lot of things - millions of words a day - so if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement.

After all, if you make your enemy look like a fool, you lose the justification for engaging him.

We learn from history as much as a rabbit learns from an experiment that's performed upon it.