Your fuselage shouldn't open more easily than your pretzel bag.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Love what matters in a world that loves itself.

Is there any life without any difficulty?

The kind of life you live is not only determined by the level of education you attained. It's defined by the kind of love you give to God in whom you believe!

Feminism, as it stands, well... stands. It has ground to a halt.

Never give up, no, never give up If you're looking for something easy You might as well give it up.

When a young man complains that a young lady has no heart, it's pretty certain that she has his.

What I've noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it's so wonderfully fair.

When you have a kid your life changes completely, it's not about you anymore.

The best argument is an undeniably good book.

What good is a friend if you cant make an enemy of him?