Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

There is no wisdom for a man without harmony, and without harmony there is no contemplation. Without contemplation there cannot be peace, and without peace can there be joy?

The thing about rabbits, sir, is that everybody has one. I'd like to see you step up to the goat-class where I feel you belong. Frankly you look more like a goat man to me.

Writing, when properly managed, (as you may be sure I think mine is) is but a different name for conversation.

What a great blessing is a friend with a heart so trusty you may safely bury all your secrets in it.

The Dalai Lama's entire being is about peace and harmony, forgiveness and self-discipline. Those are qualities to be admired. I am really looking forward to meeting His Holiness.

God, how I have wasted my life.

It's important that adults get along with each other for the child's sake, and that is our situation.

To be a poet in a destitute time means: to attend, singing, to the trace of the fugitive gods. This is why the poet in the time of the world's night utters the holy.

Too travel is sometimes better to arrive!

No degree of knowledge attainable by man is able to set him above the want of hourly assistance.