Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

You'll be okay. No matter what shape reality takes, you can handle it.

He was just so gorgeous, erotic, and intimidating at the same time, ” she said, grinning.

The high prize of life the crowning fortune of a man is to be born with a bias to some pursuit which finds him in employment and happiness.

I think each woman has her own relationship to beauty.

Your life is yours to live as you choose.

In order to have creativity, you have to allow for dead ends to happen.

I think one of the most important skills of a local organizer of a local economy is an ability to put on a terrific street party.

Pay real attention to your basic human instincts when you face gray area decisions, but also try to have a clear sense of when you have done all you can reasonably do.

When moonlight french kisses the Manhattan midnight There's a not a face without a teardrop that's in sight Midnights in Manhattan keep me dreamin' I think I'm gonna keep em

Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.