Your life isn't out of control. It's expanded.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

Whenever society begins to create policies and laws rooted in fear and anger, there will be abuse and injustice.

It is curious that atheists have proved to be so intolerant of those who have a faith.

I was born in 1970 and I got to see a little bit of [Richard] Nixon's attempts at redefining himself. I saw [Gerald] Ford.

Most transvestites fancy girls.

No more duty can be urged upon those who are entering the great theater of life than simple loyalty to their best convictions.

I think it's better if blokes can admit that they can have crushes on other blokes. I've probably had crushes but never really sexual crushes on men.

There is only one good thing in life, and that is love. And how you misunderstand it! how you spoil it! You treat it as something solemn like a sacrament, or something to be bought, like a dress.

I will never be satisfied. Life is one constant search for the betterment for me.

Over-coaching can be more harmful than under-coaching. Keep it simple!

Think of your moods as a thermometer that takes the temperature of your life, if you just want to be happy all the time, it's like wanting to break your thermometer.