Your money is like your willy, it only grows if you play with it

I'm a cup of tea in a world of lattes.

The truth is, I've been lucky. But just like the waltz, life has its own rhythm of rise and fall.

The thing with children is they're a bit like baking a fruitcake: you throw all the ingredients in but you never know how they're going to turn out.

I always think of a show like a plant - a little pruning now and then keeps it healthy, but you shouldn't pull it out and chop the roots up.

You got to risk it if you want the biscuit.

It's never too early to panic.

I won't eat anything I can't spell or wouldn't tread in.

I really hate airport queues. I almost feel they should have cattle prods to hurry us up down the aisles. You can't even complain because they might stop you getting on to the flight.

I'm a technophobe. I can't crack the iPhone, and the extent of my multitasking is being able to talk while I make a drink.

You have to speak your mind, but without being cruel.

Real love, the Bible says, instinctively desires permanence.

You f*#ked my v*g*na, you wanted to think that you f#*ked my mind, but unlike you, D*ck, my mind doesn't lie between my two legs. ~ Subhangi Tyagi

Many of you wavier by the way you live.

Aberystwyth (n.) A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.

My agent called me at 5:30am, and I thought the set of my movie had burned down, or Josh [Hutcherson] had died, or something…I didn’t realize! I was so tired!

In truth, knowledge is a great and very useful quality; those who despise it give evidence enough of their stupidity. Yet I do not set its value at that extreme measure that some attribute to it.

Only someone who can say 'I love you' is capable of saying 'I forgive you.

I'm not worried about the weekend, I'm worried about Saturday.

There was a gas strike, oil strike, lorry strike, bread strike, got to be a Superman to survive.

I will fight for budget honesty and eliminating the deficit to reduce the transfer of debt to younger generations.