Your vanity and my vanity will never be friends.

Pain narrows consciousness; pleasure blurs it.

When Medusa looks in the mirror, she sees the Lady of Sorrows.

My passions have never jumped out of the fireplace and set fire to the carpet.

Retirement requires the invention of a new hedonism, not a return to the hedonism of youth

The sewing machine joins what the scissors have cut asunder, plus whatever else comes in its path.

Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.

The laughter of the aphorism is sometimes triumphant, but seldom carefree.

'Be faithful to your roots' is the liberal version of 'Stay in your ghetto.'

Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: getting out of bed.

Totem poles and wooden masks no longer suggest tribal villages but fashionable drawing rooms in New York and Paris.

Four days will quickly steep themselves in nightsFour nights will quickly dream away the time.

God's justice will always be found at the end of a pen.

We all feel better when we are grateful. There is great wisdom in understanding that no matter the situation, there is always something for which we can choose to be grateful.

You know how I play it, better safe than sorry 'stead of searching for substance at every single party.

At any given moment, public opinion is a chaos of superstition, misinformation, and prejudice.

Everyone has someone they looked up to. Mine was Mickey Mantle. For Alex Rodriguez to idolize me coming up, that makes me feel very good.

Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.

I expect some new phases of life this summer, and shall try to get the honey from each moment.

A man with a machine and inadequate culture is a pestilence.

There were some things you did, no matter what, and when a friend needed help, you helped them.