...and whenever I had menstral cramps, I could just pretend that Voldemort was close.

In short? It is exhausting being me. Pretending to be normal is draining and requires amazing amounts of energy and Xanax.

Because you are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. And because there is joy in embracing - rather than running from - the utter absurdity of life.

[On acupuncture:] The needles are small and won't hurt at all. In fact, they'll feel good. Ha, ha! Just kidding. They feel like needles. Because they are.

Every time I get scared or feel like I'm not going to be good enough at something, I say that mantra to myself. "Pretend you're good at it."

When Hailey was born my first thought was that I needed a drink and that hospitals should have bars in them.

So many of us feel like we're misfits until we finally find our tribe - the other people who are are strange in the same way - and suddenly everything clicks.

It’s amazing how much you’re missing in a depressive state until you start to come out on the other side. It’s like breathing again after being underwater for far too long.

But really, what else are you going to talk about in line at the liquor store? Childhood trauma seems like the natural choice, since it’s the reason why most of us are in line there to begin with.

If you enjoyed high school, you were probably a psychopath or a cheerleader. Or possibly both.

High School Is Life’s Way of Giving You a Record Low to Judge the Rest of Your Life By)

Misunderstandings arise only in undefined relationships

Can anything be less cool than defending the motion picture academy?

When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.

Tradition is tending the flame, not worshiping the ashes.

I don't stay in the genre because I just like all stories that have a smart hook in them and I can find a comic way through if it's a comedy or a suspenseful way through it if it's a drama.

Most of the time I spent in America, I was having a love affair with some American or other. I was just passing through but stayed because of these chaps.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

Cool,” I said. “You can IM with the Council from campus. Maybe you can command people to do your homework.

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

I'm as proud of many of the things we haven't done as the things we have done. Innovation is saying no to a thousand things.