applause, n. The echo of a platitude.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

They say that 'life is full of choices, ' but the only choice that I see is living on the bright side of life.

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

There are cases in which the blade springs, but the plant does not go on to flower. There are cases where it flowers, but no fruit is subsequently produced.

When I'm recording something (especially because I produce my own music) I might consider how hard it would be to replicate a song on stage.

There was no such thing as Palestinians, they never existed.

England can end the millenium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world.

My verses are my diary. My poetry is a poetry of proper names.

I didn't want people to go out wanting to go tool up against the bad guys (and at impressionable ages). I said, don't shy away from the violence or pull back on this, commit to this.

The demands of following Christ will cost you everything. But you gain far more than you give up. You give up dirt for diamonds.

Basic principles: no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.