because the theater lost a Barrymore every time a Southerner decided not to go on the stage, just about anything that comes out of a Southern mouth is bound to be a ringing line.

A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt.

If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

I simply like guns because you can't shoot people without them.

I wasn't used to children and they were getting on my nerves. Worse, it appeared that I was a child, too. I hadn't known that before; I thought I was just short.

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a person with something to look forward to.

The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.

God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

feminism is for everybody

Now is the only time you have. Change is happening. Give up your desire to control the world

Sooner or later everything that exists ceases to exist, and then something comes along to take its place, but not always something better.

A ship under sail and a big-bellied woman, Are the handsomest two things that can be seen common.

In the darkest place, shed the brightest light.

It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love.

A man who has been an animal has infinitely more knowledge of that animal than a man who has merely dissected one.

This shows you are never too old to get surprised.

You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.

A reporter is no better than his source of information.