critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

How do you ask a man to be the last man to die in Vietnam? How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?

I look coolly in to the blue eyes of the person who is now my greatest opponent, the person who would keep me alive at his own expense. And I promise myself I will defeat his plan.

In the race for love I was scratched.

I come from a dysfunctional family, so my views of parents and parenting used to be highly mixed.

In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double. Don't worry. Be happy.

Acting on stage is a living organism you can never pin down, and I believe the audience feeds off that, too.

This New York thing is being blown out of proportion. Who gives a **** about New York when elephants are being killed?

As eternity is reckoned there's a lifetime in a second.

Also, I think having a musicality about me, that helps in identifying different things in languages and getting them right.