diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.

I am happy that I can aid those admirable men, both living and dead, who by their pens or their tongues have aided the great cause of human liberty and universal happiness.

You are divine being.

John Kerry can be absolutely ruthless. I would not want to be on his enemies list when he's ready to go after you.

What a player does best, he should practice least. Practice is for problems.

Jazz will endure just as long people hear it through their feet instead of their brains.

The use of language is all we have to pit against death and silence.

Cooking is actually quite aggressive and controlling and sometimes, yes, there is an element of force-feeding going on.

What can go wrong will go wrong.

As much as I make my music for me, I make it for the people who rock with me and follow me. They're the inspiration behind it.