good morning sinners. vampiric red bull intake in pub smoking compound commenced. day of heavy brain-fingering ahead.

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?

If while alive you hurt or disappoint people you love, there's no use continuing such behavior when you're dead.

My friends, we should consider ourselves fortunate, not because we are any greater or lesser because we face adversity, rather we simply rejoice in the opportunity to face it.

To discover he is loved in return ought really to disenchant the lover with the beloved.

I thought it would be a great opportunity to work with someone that I really like and really respect as an artist [like Alessandro Michele].

Hendrix was big in England. We all became good friends and I am still in touch with Noel Redding.

A compliment would be the last thing out of my mouth to a man who was so pigheaded that he could be served at a luau.

God's grace doesn't always come in comfortable forms. But it's still grace, and it's still evidence that He loves us.

In my planet, fashion, I'm the only straight man.

No one can hold absolute power for long, controlled power endures.

Liberalism demands that people without guns be able to tell people with guns what to do.