if there is a god, he sure hates people

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Truth is often the favorite tool of those who deceive.

I never took that stuff personally when people said I was too young, too inexperienced. I get politics. I get attack ads. But they said 'mobbed up family.' That we were criminals. That kills me.

I love Broadway. And, I listen to country music, which I think a lot of people find surprising.

I love baseball. And American Football, too. But not rugby.

Rochester: I am to take mademoiselle to the moon, and there I shall seek a cave in one of the white valleys among the volcano-tops, and mademoiselle shall live with me there, and only me.

one of those men who reach such an acute limited excellence at twenty−one that everything afterward savors of anti−climax.

What is the son but an extension of the father?

The Kite Runner is a story of two boys and a father, and the strange love triangle that binds them.

All the world's a stage we're going through.

The vampire thing always works for some reason. Always works.