it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

The puzzle that is created by seeing the ‘relative’ is called worldly life (sansaar)! It would never be this way had one seen the ‘Real’.

Don't cry for the dead, for the dead is deaf, dumb, blind, lame, unemotional and dead.

Your writing should be filled with simple complexities and complex simplicities. Because that is life.

love is the need of all...but, love needs all...!

Illusions mistaken for truth are the pavement under our feet. They are what we call civilization.

Vice goes a long way tow'rd makin' life bearable. A little vice now an' thin is relished by th' best iv men.

It is for God to fix the time who knows no time.

Talking to the parents of older kids was helpful for me, since parents of kids the same age as yours won't admit how horrible their children are.

Whatever you want to do with your life, you really got to want it. And if you want it, and you work hard, it will happen.

Each painting has its own way of evolving. When the painting is finished, the subject reveals itself.